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Life Behind the Scenes: a move and a miscarriage
*Note: The following post includes mention of pregnancy and loss. If reading such topics is not good for you right now, please skip this post and continue browsing the blog for more Pilates and health & wellness-related posts.*
I’m supposed to be on vacation this week, but I had to pop in and share an update with you before I sign off… it’s been weighing on my heart, so I hope you don’t mind.
In the beginning of June, I found out I was pregnant. A third baby was on the way! My husband and I were thrilled. A little surprised by the timing, but thrilled nonetheless.
The same week I found out I was pregnant, we found a new house and decided to make a move. Suddenly, out of nowhere, our life seemed to be changing once again at a rapid pace – another new house, another new baby – here we go again!
Since this was my third pregnancy, I felt pretty confident in what was ahead. I made sure to eat well and exercise in those first few weeks because I knew that once weeks 6-13 hit, I’d be lucky to eat a single vegetable and get off the couch for a short walk (first trimesters are rough).
After what felt like a very long wait, the day finally came for our first ultrasound. I arranged for a sitter and met my husband at the doctor’s office. I was excited and nervous – just like I always am for that first appointment. In hindsight, I can see that I was a little extra nervous this time because I hadn’t been feeling as sick as I did with my first two pregnancies. I know every pregnancy is different, and I was taking extra B vitamins which is supposed to help… but still… I was anxious to hear the heartbeat and see the baby to ensure that all was well.
As the ultrasound began, my husband and I stared at the screen with anticipation – anxious to hear what the doctor would say.
She confirmed that there was a fully developed sac, however, it was only measuring 5 weeks and 2 days (I was supposed to be measuring closer to 8-9 weeks according to the doctor’s counting method). She wasn’t able to find a heartbeat, but she told us it was possible the baby was just not as far along as we had thought (my cycles average 43 days which is much longer than most, so it wasn’t unrealistic to think that I ovulated later and was therefore, not as far along as the doctor expected).
She told us that the only thing to do is wait and come back in a week to see if the baby showed signs of growth over the next 7 days. She also shared that if something were to be wrong, it’s important for me to know that it’s safe to miscarry at home.
“Miscarry at home.” Dreaded words I hoped I’d never hear.
We left the doctor’s office feeling mixed emotions – hopeful, yet hesitant.
Either the baby was growing and everything was fine – or it wasn’t.
There was nothing to do but wait and see.
I had already planned my work schedule for the next 10 months with pregnancy in mind – I knew which workouts would be prenatal workouts, how far along I’d be at the retreat this fall, when I’d take maternity leave… I had it all figured out.
In the midst of our waiting, we were also waiting to find out if we got the new house. I prayed constantly and trusted that God’s plan is always the best plan, even though it was hard.
The day before our next ultrasound I was extremely nauseous and exhausted. I was hopeful that my pregnancy symptoms were finally hitting hard and we would receive good news at our appointment the next day.
But unfortunately, that afternoon, I started to miscarry.
What I feared most was coming true.
The next week was full of doctor appointments, tears, cramps, blood draws, aches, exhaustion, holding it together while we hosted out of town guests, and going through the madness that is moving into a new house with 2 little kids.
Needless to say, the past month has a been a whirlwind.
I am writing this post as I am slightly on the other side of things (just barely) and starting to feel like myself again.
I decided to share my story here on the blog because I am grateful for the women who have gone before me and shared their experiences either with me personally or through their online platforms.
Because of these women, when my miscarriage began, I did not feel alone. I did not feel like something was wrong with me. Instead, I felt like I was joining a tribe of women who have been through the pain and the grief of miscarriage and survived… and even thrived.
Don’t get me wrong, I was heartbroken and devastated, but I clung to the fact that others had gone before me and made it through to the other side.
The emotion that surprised me the most? Fear.
I was terrified of what the actual process of miscarriage would be like.
I started reading stories on the internet (always the best idea, right?) and prepared myself for the worst. From what I read, I was terrified to miscarry at home – I didn’t know who would watch the kids while I was writhing in pain in the bathroom. I didn’t know who we would call if I started losing so much blood that I needed to go to the ER. I didn’t know how I would get through it. I was scared and filled with nerves about what was about to happen.
I won’t go into all of the explicit details but I will say that I did end up miscarrying naturally. I didn’t require surgery, I didn’t end up in the emergency room, but I did make one trip to Urgent Care for fluids about a week after the miscarriage due to symptoms of dehydration and exhaustion (aches, weakness, nausea, and dizziness).
I decided to share my story because I’m grateful for other women who shared theirs along the way and because miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed of.
The past few weeks have been hard.
My body was fully pregnant – hormonal swings, cravings, food aversions, and weight gain (I’m not exaggerating when I say I couldn’t fit in my jeans the week I found out I was pregnant…apparently by the third pregnancy your body just reverts back to child-bearing size…instantly)!
I gained 10 pounds and was ready to share WHY I had gained 10 pounds with you when I announced the pregnancy.
But as it turns out, I don’t have a pregnancy announcement. Instead, I’ve just gained 10 pounds.
I didn’t do a single bit of exercise for a little more than 2 weeks. And even now, I’m slowly easing back in – 10 minutes of Pilates here, 20 minutes of yoga there. The miscarriage took a toll on my body. My body feels weak and I feel fragile.
My mind is ready to get back on the mat again and head out for a sweaty run, but I know I have to take it slow. Too much too soon can lead to injury, fatigue, and other long-term issues.
I’m choosing to do what’s best for my body by taking it slow rather than doing whatever it takes to lose those 10 extra pounds.
Miscarriage is now a part of my story. I have made it through to the other side (physically) but will always carry it with me – in my body and my soul.
I am more grateful for my two babies than ever before. I realize the incredible gift that it is to have a family and to be able to hug them and snuggle them when my heart aches for the one we just lost. This is a gift that I will never ever take for granted.
I am grateful to my friends and family who supported us in the midst of a move and a miscarriage (nothing like two big life events to make you realize how new you still feel in town).
I am grateful for the community we have built here on The Balanced Life. A community that I trust will support me on this journey whether I’m posting challenging, sweaty workouts or laying on the couch eating chocolate.
A Sisterhood that will embrace me whether I’m in the best shape of my life or holding on to extra weight and recovering from a pregnancy that ended too soon.
All in all, two and a half weeks later, I am doing well. My husband is a saint for allowing me to rest and recover in the midst of moving with two small children (I barely packed a single box!). I still cry when I talk about it (even when I’m not feeling sad in the moment, the tears feel biological, like as a mother I can’t talk about losing a baby without my body naturally weeping at the same time.).
And I am still in awe of how miraculous my body is.
I don’t talk about my faith much here on the blog, but God was with me every step of the way. In the midst of fear, sadness, and difficulty, we experienced great mercy. I saw Him in it every step of the way.
If you found this post while going through a trial of your own…please know this:
You will make it through to the other side.
You are stronger than you think.
You are not alone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and please feel free to share it with anyone who might need a little encouragement today.
Lots of love,
Robin Long
Robin Long, founder and CEO of Lindywell, certified Pilates instructor, Nutrition Therapy Practitioner, and author of 'Well to the Core,' blends 15 years of expertise with a lifelong commitment to holistic health.
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170 thoughts on “Life Behind the Scenes: a move and a miscarriage”
Robin, thank you so much for sharing your story of miscarriage. You are a true light for women and your faith in God during this time in your life reminds me to cling to my faith in hard times. Praying for your full recovery and peace only God can provide ❤️
Oh, Robin. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this very personal part of your life journey with us, and for speaking of your faith. You will be in my prayers.
Robin, I’m tearing up reading this. Love your heart and your encouragement for others. Praying for God to wrap you in his love and peace during this difficult time. I had a feeling you were pregnant from something you said on one of your live videos recently. I’m keeping you in my prayers for now on. Thank you for all you do. Take it easy and give your mind, body, and spirit the rest and nourishment it needs right now. Much love!! ❤️
Robin – thank you for sharing so honestly. I’ve had two miscarriages and felt most lonely when the subject was swept under the rug. Praying for healing and time to grieve. Bless you.
I can totally understand that. And I’m sorry for your losses as well. I can only imagine how hard that was. Hugs to you! xoxo
Robin, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the whirlwind you’ve been through, the excitement, then heartbreak. Know that you are in my prayers. Thank you for all that you do for us, and I hope you feel the support of your Sisterhood during this time.
Thank you Jennie!
So sorry Robin for your miscarriage. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I experienced a miscarriage my first pregnancy, and even after being blessed with two beautiful babies afterwards I still feel an ache from the loss. Thank you for sharing and being so open. Sharing with others who experienced similar losses really helped me heal – I’m sure your words will be helpful to many. I will pray for you and I wish you and your family lots of happiness in your new home.
Thank you Grace! And I’m so sorry you’ve experienced loss as well. I’m so grateful for others who shared as well – it’s made my journey much less dark and lonely than it could have been. xoxo
My heart goes out to you. I too have been there. You do learn to cope with the sadness. Sending you much love.
Sending that love right back to you Libby! xoxo
Robin, Last year, your story was my story almost exactly, 10 pounds and all. The only difference was that I went in for a D&C. It would have been my second baby. I found a yoga for fertility support group where I could share my story with others and cry each week, and I started acupuncture (it really helped my stress). I made a new friend, lost ten pounds with the sisterhood, and found I could eventually talk about things without crying. I am currently 23 weeks. All the best to you during this time. I’m rooting for you.
Oh Kerri, I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I love hearing about how you healed and moved forward. The stress has been high so this is good to keep in mind. And congratulations on your new pregnancy – such great news!! 🙂
Robin, sorry for your loss. The sisterhood is here to support you!
So sorry for your loss, Robin.
Thank you for sharing your miscarriage. I too miscarried a baby girl at 6months and as awful as that experience was we also experienced a profound peace that others noticed that visited us at the hospital which we credit with our faith and trust in God that he will bring good out of all experiences, loves us and never leaves us.
Oh Kathy. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how painful and hard that was. Thank you for sharing and for your encouragement. xoxo
I’m so sorry for your loss and know how you feel. I myself lost 2 pregnancies 20 years ago and could not have children. The grief still remains, but like you my faith in God and support from my husband and family help me to live my life to the fullest. Thank you so much for sharing your story. One day at a time. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers.
I’m so sorry Joanne. I can only image how hard that has been. Thank you for sharing and for your support. xoxo
Sweet Robin, may the Lord bless and keep you as you continue to process this. I miscarried two weeks before conceiving my second child. We were also moving. I am praying fullness of joy over you.
Wow, Lauren – I’m so sorry you’ve been through it as well. I am feeling the love – thank you for the prayers!
Praying for you! Though I’m not a member of the motherhood club yet, and Lord willing I will some day, I’ve been dealing with the loss of all 3 of my grandparents in just under 18 months. 2 of which since I started grad school, and the most recent was last week. I affirm and echo your words that the Lord has been with me. Where last week I felt angry, frustrated, confused, and overwhelmed with school, each day he has eased my burden. I just had to learn how to let go and talk to Him about it. I’ve been a Christian since I was little, but my faith hasn’t been a crutch until this season of life. God is showing me He’s Abba, Father, and it’s so comforting. I’ll pray for continued comfort and healing for you! ❤️
Oh Allyson, I am so sorry. I lost 3 grandparents in a short amount of time as well. It is so hard. I am so glad you are feeling strength and comfort in the midst of the hard times. Thank you for your prayers as well! xoxo
Oh Robin, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost two little ones, and the losses were tremendous. Thank you for sharing your story, I’m sure that there are women that need to hear and have this encouragement. God was with me every step of the way, as He was with you- He even put a nurse right there to wipe the tears from my eyes as I had surgery during my first miscarriage, and she prayed with me. Be gentle with yourself, hug your family more tightly. You will be able to be a comfort to others because of the comfort you’ve received.
Amen, amen. Thank you Angela! And I’m sorry for your losses as well. xoxo
Oh Robin! I wish I could give you a big hug. I am weeping for your family’s loss. It’s is so hard and you shared your story with genuine grace. You are definitely not alone we are all here to uplift and support you and each other! ?
Thank you Rachel!
Praying for your continued recovery (physically, spiritually and emotionally) Robin.
Thank you Sylvia!
Robin, thank you for sharing. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’ve had three miscarriages and can tell you that they do become a part of your story and you do carry them with you always. However, eventually the rawness of it all dissipates and God helps you to find peace. I will be praying for you and your family during this time when the wounds are still so fresh.
Thank you Jessica. I’m so sorry for your losses as well. xoxo
I’m so very sorry for your loss! I went to bed one night pregnant and woke up the next day miscarrying. It was horrible but I can’t imagine how aweful it must have been waiting at home. Prayers for peace and strength for you and your family!
Oh I’m so sorry you went through that Liz! Thank you so much for sharing and for your prayers!
Robin, I am so sorry for your loss! I have a similar story – pregnant with my third but nervous at my first appointment because I hadn’t been sick or as tired. I thought I was 10 weeks along and I was measuring 8. I came back a week later to measure again but there hadn’t been any growth. My doc recommended a D&C so I wouldn’t miscarry at home over Christmas. We had been planning on telling family about the baby at Christmas. A year later, this time with the help of a fertility doc, we were pregnant again. I am grateful for my friends that had miscarried before that I could call for support. I also couldn’t imagine life without our youngest – our third boy.
Kristy – thank you for sharing! What a gift your little guy is! Your comment is so appreciated. 🙂
So sorry for your loss! You have no idea how grateful I am for your authenticity as we live in a time that seems to only show all the “perfect” lives through Facebook posts. And thank you for talking about your faith … I love this Sisterhood as a platform for realness.
Thanks for your support Annette! xoxo
My heart breaks with yours. Praying that you continue to feel the love and peace of our Father as you heal. I’m so thankful that He is a God who sees us and is with us in our pain. Thank you for being so real!
Thank you Haley!
Robin, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you are recovering well. Thank you for sharing your story. God bless you and your family!
Thank you Becky!
Oh Robin…my heart is breaking for you! Had I had the Sisterhood and other vulnerable women, like you in my life when my first miscarriage happened I know I would have been SO much better off. Our prayers go out to you and your husband.
Thank you Kristie. I’m so sorry you’ve been through it as well. And I agree, there are a lot of bad things you could say about the internet but there is so much goodness too! I am very grateful for the way it connects us and allows us to share our stories. xoxo
There are no words to “fix” what you experienced. From what I’ve seen of you, you will come through this stronger, even more compassionate than before. Please know that you are lifted up by the Sisterhood, who love and admire you. God bless you and your family.
Be kind to yourself. I know you’ll take special care of your husband. I think we often forget the father’s heart aching during these times as well.(Note: I’m a doula and part of our job is to support the mother and the father as well.) You are surround with our love.
Marilyn, thank you so much for this comment. And thank you for the reminder to care for my husband. That is so important and I love that you include that in your work. I appreciate you!
Ooh Robin,
Sending prayers your way…(((hugs))).
Oh Robin. I am so sorry to hear this news. Your story sounds so similar to mine… I was 9 weeks when I miscarried and it was a roller coaster of uncertainty the weeks prior. I always thought I’d be someone really strong going through something like that, but it totally wrecked me. It was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Sending SO much love your way. xoxo
I’m so sorry to hear you lost a baby as well Ginna. Thank you for your love and encouragement! xoxo
I have been there robin and the road can be rough. So happy you are getting to the other side. Snuggle those kids and enjoy every minute youcan while taking it easy. Best of luck in the weeks ahead and taking the time you need to be your best self. Xo
Thank you Emily!
Robin, thank you for your open honest heart. Loosing a child is I believe, one of the most hardest things to go through. I wish I had been brave enough to tell others when we lost our first two children, but like you we were given the peace that surpasses all understanding from the Lord. We will be keeping you amd your whole family in our prayers. Blessings ~
Thank you Rachel. I’m so sorry for your losses as well. I’m so glad to hear you found peace in the midst of it all. xoxo
Robin, thank you for sharing so openly during such a difficult time. I’m sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. <3
Thank you Christina!
Oh, Robin, I’m SO sorry for your loss. Thank you for being a light and source of encouragement for others by sharing your personal story. You’re right, we are definitely not alone here in the Sisterhood… I too found out I was pregnant in early June, and the miscarried at home about 2 weeks later. I’m blessed by you and your courage to be transparent. I pray God will continue to comfort you, and I believe God works all things together for good. I’m SO thankful to have found TBL; I truly believe in it and all you stand for!!
Hugs!!
Oh Karen, I’m so sorry! We will walk this healing path together. Sending lots of love your way! xoxo
Robin,
I am touched by your authenticity and sad for your loss. You are in my prayers.
Becca
Thank you Becca!
Thank you for sharing Robin. We have 3 beautiful children, 17, 15, and 10. But I also had 2 miscarriages before our firstborn and between the first and second child. One of only a few times Ive ever seen my husband cry. I don’t know why it’s so uncomfortable or difficult for people to speak about. I’ve felt the same many times but our youngest, 10 year old sweet girl, always unapologetically includes the 2 we lost when anyone asks about our kids or our family. she keeps us real for sure! I also wanted to thank you for sharing about your faith. To keep and share your faith at such a time of heartbreak and loss is a true picture of the hope that a relationship with God provides us. Prayers for you and your family. Best wishes in your new home. Thank you.
Thank you Shannon! Hearing your story is a great encouragement to me. And I love that your daughter includes them in your family story. That is precious. xoxo
Thank you for sharing. Robin, I’m praying for you and your family. I know what it’s like to move with two kiddos and I can’t imagine that in top of what you have been through. Thank you for letting us in on a personal level.. I’m thankful to hear your story through struggles and I know others are as well. I have learned so much about a healthy lifestyle and just life itself through TBL. Love you and you are such a strong woman, wife and momma!
Thank you Jaclyn!
Robin, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing. I lost a baby in December and I still occasionally cry when I talk about it. One of the things that is healing to me and helping me work off that pregnancy weight is The Balanced Life and the Sisterhood. Thank you for creating this space where we can celebrate and grieve with each other. Much love to you!
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss China. But truly grateful that The Sisterhood has been a part of your healing process. I am honored and am grateful to have you here! xoxo
Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share! I am thankful for your ability to see Christ moving in this and how you are coming out stronger because of it. The way you teach Pilates and live your life inspires me in more ways than I could ever put down in words. You are in my prayers!
Thank you Callie! xoxo
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I had three miscarriages before my daughter was born and feel it’s critically important for us to be open about these tragedies so our sisters in loss know they are not alone. ❤️
I wholeheartedly agree Anna. Thank you for sharing your story as well. And I’m so sorry for your losses. What a gift your sweet daughter is! xoxo
Oh, Robin. I’m so very sorry. Praying for you, and so thankful that you are able to see God’s faithful mercies as you walk this path. His provision is amazing, isn’t it? Take your time grieving the sweet baby you lost. No matter how far along, he/she was your child ❤️. Love you and so thankful for you!!
P.S. I swear I was already showing the week I found out I was pregnant with my third too!
I really was! And honestly look like I still am. The body is amazing like that – it just remembers and knows. Thank you for your sweet words and constant support. I am grateful for you Brooke! xoxo
With my 3rd pregnancy, I had actually lost 5 lbs when i was just 2 months along, but couldn’t put on my regular jeans … my body knew exactly how to be “pregnant” and quickly went into that state.
Take care of your self while your boby recovers!
Robin,
Hugs and more hugs. Prayers for you and your family. You have an angel that will always be with you. I know . I have my own angels too. Be kind to yourself and rest.
Thank you Roxann. xoxo
Dear Robin, Thank you for sharing your loss on this beautiful platform that you’ve created. May God’s love hold you and your family in the palm of his hand and my your faith protect you in the days ahead. You have my deepest sympathy and prayers of support as you go on.
Thank you Teresa!
So sorry for your loss, Robin. I have been in the same position and my heart aches for you. I pray for your physical and mental healing. ???
Thank you Pat!
Miscarriage has been part of my story for the last 36 years. I am so sorry that it is now part of yours too. You didn’t just gain ten pounds now. You gained ten for a very beautiful reason. We don’t know why God chose to keep our babies, but hopefully someday we will. Please take the time to grieve this loss for it is such a big loss. Whatever you feel is absolutely fine. You deal with it however you need to deal with it. There is no right or wrong way. My prayers are with you at this very sad time, but I promise, it will get better. You will never forget this baby, but it does get easier.
Thank you so much, Nancy. I am reading and re-reading your words. xoxo
Oh Robin I am so very sorry for your loss! I lost baby K around the same age. We had seen a heartbeat at 5 weeks but they had us back at 8 because the baby seemed too small (I too have a very long cycle, so I wasn’t surprised), but the baby didn’t grow past 6 weeks. Baby K was to be my second and I was devastated. But the loss made me appreciate my son that much more, and we were blessed a little over year later with a baby girl. The only thing that will heal is time. You sound like you are approaching all of this in a positive and healthy way. Thank you for sharing and trusting us with your story. There are so many more in this tribe than I ever realized, and it truly is comforting to know we all make it through. You will always love that little one, but you will feel better as time goes on. Very best to you and your family!
So true Sinead. I have been overwhelmed with support and I am so grateful for women like you! I’m sorry to hear about sweet baby K. xoxo
Dear Robin,
Thank you for sharing this difficult journey with us. I relate to it on many levels~my body instantly responding to each time I was expecting and taking over from there: the fatigue, the ultimate listening and respecting what my body had to say.
This specific sorrow I have not experienced, but close loved ones have. I encourage you to continue to listen to your feelings, your heart, your body as you experience your mourning. TAKE YOUR TIME. There is no timeline for sorrow, grief, loss. Replenish. Repair. Rejuvenate.
You have given this community so much. Please allow us to give back to you as you take all the time you need. We are better because of all you have given us. Perhaps we can help you be better somehow, too.
You are held and loved. You are not alone.
Take all the time you need. We are here. and will be here.
M
Wow, thank you so much Melissa. Your words mean so much to me. Really – they do. I appreciate your support more than you know! xoxo
Oh Robyn! Thank you for sharing such a raw moment of your life with us. Praying for peace, healing, and God’s presence for you.
Thank you Jamie!
Robin, there is healing in sharing. I am confident that you will feel stronger every day. Trust in your faith and love and cherish your husband and children. This pregnancy, and all the emotions, will stay with you forever. It does get easier with time.
Thank you Nancy. xoxo
Robin, I just want to hug you and cry with you. A year ago next month the same thing happened to me and it forever changed me. I miscarried ar home not knowing what to expect, and it was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I felt so lonely and sad. Thank you for sharing your story – ten pounds and all. Love and light to you and your family.
Thank you Heather – sending a hug right back your way! xoxo
Oh, Robin, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and Matt during this difficult time. Strength and healing to you.
Congrats on the new house!
Looking forward to the retreat in October!
Hugs!
Thank you so much Sheli!
Robin – You are the strong woman that each of us know you to be. That’s why we follow you in the Sisterhood. It is so appropriate for you to tell your story within the Sisterhood. You created this. We are your sisters. Stay strong and carryon. Make each hug, kiss and loving moment count with the family by your side. You have many prayers from us. Love. Love. Love.
Thank you! xoxo
Robin, stay strong and faithful, and know that God loves you and he feels your pain. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and it is something that will stay with me forever. But I believe we need to continue to share our stories and show our sisters that we made it through and they will too!!! ❤️
I agree – thank you Danielle!
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Thank you Lisa!
So beautifully written. I’ve never put my miscarriage into words but every word your wrote rang true! Time certainly helps ease the pain but I always wonder what might have been. Eight years later I realize that without my miscarriage we wouldn’t have our son and I can’t imagine our lives without him. Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you Kristi. I appreciate that and love hearing about your sweet son! xoxo
Sending you and your family love. I’m proud of you for sharing. We all love you!!!
Thank you Helena!
Oh Robin, even in the midst of your loss you find a way to encourage my heart and soul. My loss was not the same as yours, but your message spoke straight to me. Thank you for practicing what you preach, and for your transparency. You are a blessing. You and your family are in my prayers.
I’m so glad to hear that Andrea. Thank you so much for your love & support! xoxo
I wish I could hug you and cry with you. Mine were 29 years ago, 19 years ago, and almost 8 years ago. I still cry at times when I talk about them or think about them. Grief and the tenderness of loss know no time frame. Praying for you and your husband. <3
I’m so sorry Sally. And thank you for your prayers! xoxo
Robin, I am so sorry you had to join this tribe. I hope in time your heart heals as much as possible. There is love and hope on the other side. From one mother to another I am holding you tight.
Thank you Laura! xo
Sweet Robin, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I too have gone through the pain of miscarrying and mercy of God in it all. My husband and I were expecting our third baby in June as well, and while he was on a missions trip in Haiti I started naturally miscarrying. I was devastated, but praise God I had a great group of friends right there with me, showing me love, giving encouragement, and offering to bring relief as I awaited my husbands return. Dear Robin, I know 5 hours may seem like a cross country trip, but if there is any way we can show love in this time, whether a phone call, FaceTime chat, or sending a box of chocolate and a movie, please do let me know.
Here for you-
Thank you Jenn! You are so thoughtful. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve recently been through this as well. Sending you a big hug! xo
I’m sorry for your loss, Robin. Praying you will feel God’s love and comfort and remember he is with you even if you have times when you feel he isn’t. He’s carried me through deep waters. Here’s a blog post shared in a Facebook group I’m in that’s of comfort to me. It’s been 18 years since my first husband and our 9-year-old son died in a plane crash. http://www.rootsdowndeep.com/please-dont-get-over-it/
Oh Mary Beth. I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine the road you have travelled. Thank you for sharing encouragement and for your support. Sending love and prayers right back your way!
Robin- thank you so very much for bringing such a tough loss to the surface. I also had my first pregnancy and eventually a miscarriage 6 weeks ago(I was 10 weeks but the baby only was 9 weeks). I ended up having a procedure as I didn’t miscarry naturally. The way I found out about balanced life was looking for safe prenatal exercises; after the loss and also a 12 pound weight gain I was determined to take better care of myself and my body and joined the sisterhood. This post could not of come at a better time for me as well. Thank you so very much for sharing your story and brining such an hush hush topic to light.
Sending you and your husband so much love. Thank you for your vulnerability and courage in sharing your story.
Hoping you continue to heal and continue to find support from those around you.
Sweet Mama, you amaze me. I am so very sorry for your loss. That is A LOT to go through in such a short period of time. I lost my 1st baby and my 3rd. I handled each of them differently. You are a busy girl, please make sure you rest up. The emotion of all this will continue to hit you over time and in the most unexpected ways. I am praying.??
Robin you are incredably brave and strong to tell your story. I’ve one 3 year old and since her I’ve had 5 misscrage one was two weeks ago. It’s such a shame to think that this type of thing is not something women do talk about. I love the fact the sister hood is here and you can find someone some where who can relate to what your going through. There is nothing I can say to help ease the pain- apart from your strong and beautiful and make sure you look after yourself. As in this world it’s too easy to brush theses things under the carpet and not take the time out to heal. This is when ‘grace over guilt’ truly gives me a sane mind. X
My heart and prayers go out to you. I miscarried my second. The body recovers faster then the heart and mind. I know that I went through a lot of “what if I had done this different”. Getting pregnant after that was scary for me just thinking about what could happen again. It’s been 7years and it has gotten easier, there are still times that I think of what could have been. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about mine loss so thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Robin,
I am So sorry to her of your loss. You have put into words so beautifully the feelings I felt when I went through the same thing twice several years ago. It is true you will always carry it with you. I hope you continue to rest and be kind to your self. It has a way of creeping back up when you least expect it or when you thought you were through most of the grief. I pray for your whole family as this is a difficult time with many new changes for you all.
Dear, dear Robin, thank you for your courage and commitment to authenticity. You are NOT alone. I too have suffered the heartbreak of miscarriage and still grieve that baby after having 3 healthy babies. I cannot imagine moving while also experiencing this loss. You are a light and a herald of truth and encouragement to so many women- as you are to me! Thanks for leading in vulnerability as well as strength. Sending you a big hug from Puerto Rico. Xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss Robyn. You seem to be allowing yourself to heal at a healthy pace. I think that can be very difficult for gals when we are suppose to be strong all the time and lose the weight as fast as possible. You are right, you are not alone. We lost our little guy (also our third) at 17 weeks almost a year ago. I gained 30 lbs during my pregnancy (yikes) and gave myself time to heal and months to work it off. Your workouts helped me do that and feel good again (thanks friend).
Right after losing him, I remember hating the maternity clothes. They were all that fit. But, I wasn’t pregnant anymore and it stung every time I put them on. I gave myself a small budget and bought some real clothes staples. Then, I packed up the clothes that made me feel only overweight since there was no longer a precious little one growing inside.
Take your time. Feel everything you feel at your pace. Joy and sadness can come seconds apart and it is ok. Feeling one doesn’t discount the other. Sit with God and give it all to Him. I always learn so much about who He is from the way He cares for me in my sorrow. What a good, loving, and patient God he is. I will be praying for you as you walk through this.
Sending prayers for peace and comfort for you and your sweet family!
Robin, I am sorry to hear about your families loss. I will be thinking about you and your family in this difficult time.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. As you said, you are not alone. I lost our 4th baby when he ( I have 3 boys so of course it was a “he”) was ~8 weeks along. I too hadn’t been feeling nearly as ill during the couple of weeks leading up to the doctor appoint, so I wasn’t so surprised when there was no heart beat, and the fetus should have been 10 weeks or so. I still think of him and how old he should be … he will always be with me.
My best to you and your family. You are doing the right thing, taking care of yourself!
Big hugs from Prague!
My dear Robin and I feel like I can say that because even though we have never personally ever met, you are part of my life each and every day. You are always there when I need you to help me get through a difficult day. When I need encouragement to keep going. When I need some good, hard sweat happening. When I need a friendly face to tell me I’m doing great and to keep on going. You have given me much since I have beeen part of the sisterhood as have all the lovely ‘sisters’ who are part of it also. My most sincere condolences go out to you and to your family. You have suffered a tragic loss and so bravely and courageously shared it with us all. Thank you for doing that. I send you my warm love, prayers and HUGE hug. Continue to draw on the God of all comfort (2 Cor 1:3&4) and thank you for all you have given to us. Take the rest & recovery you need at this time.
Beautifully written ❤️. Thank you for sharing your story and being so raw about your feelings. So many of us women have gone through this journey and feel so isolated and broken. I was astonished to learn that 3 miscarriages is considered “normal” and was heartbroken that I felt so alone in such an emotional and physical journey that is considered “normal” in the medical field.
So sorry for your loss. I’ve been there myself through miscarriages and the loss of my almost four year old precious daughter. Thinking of you and your family and sending prayers and hugs.
Hi Robin – I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, yet so glad you are giving your mind & body a chance to recover. My 1st pregnancy ended up in a miscarriage & was told that this happens in 1/3 of 1st pregnancies. We went on to have 3 healthy babies. However, I will never forget the loss of that 1st baby. Thanks for being so “human” Robin and sharing your story with us. We all experience loss throughout life and it’s so nice to know we have love & support!!
Robin, sending my love and prayers to you and your family. I too have been there. For me it was hard to be around people, even loved ones, at first. I cried a lot. And when I thought I’d be okay to go celebrate my nephews birthday it was even harder. I had to run off and cry. Allow yourself time to let it all out if you still feel it and don’t commit to anything if you’re not ready. I really needed my alone time to heal. Happy you have all the support you need.
So very sorry for your loss Robin. Sending much love, prayers & healing blessings your way. You are loved by so many and we are all here to support you. ❤️
So very sorry. I’ve never lost a baby, and I can’t imagine how awful it must feel. My family and I are praying for you. When I told my kids about how it might be weird to pray for someone we haven’t met, one of my kids said, “We know her, though!” Praying for God’s comfort and healing. Thanks for being real.
Wow, Robin. It’s so amazing how you held yourself together even if you did not feel that way. I thoroughly respect your integrity and raw honesty within this special group of women. One of the components of this group I absolutely love is how much our stories offer encouragement and a road to healing to each other. Knowing this is a safe place full of compassionate, loving women brings comfort to my soul. Keep on keepin on, Robin! You’ve got this. ?
Oh Robin, I am sorry, sending your beautiful soul hugs and gratitude that you share the real woman you are with us. So much love to you as you heal. Xo
It’s been 5 1/2 years since losing my second baby, and I still cry over him. He was in our lives a short time but what a impact he left! I cry for you and your little one right now. You are so right to hold to God in this time. Cling to scripture and never be ashamed to ask for prayer. I hit each emotion at full force. Emotions are expected and “normal” (though who can describe the emotions around this normal anyway?) So just a reminder to hold tight to Jesus and your family and friends in the days, weeks, months, years to come. You are much loved friend! I’m praying for you.
I’m aching for you with the loss of that precious baby. I too lost a baby between #1 and #2 and was devastated. It took me a little while to trust my body again. The one brilliant thing my trainer said to me, as she too had been through a loss, was that “it won’t hurt this bad forever”. And, oh how true this was. Yes, I still think of that sweet little one but not with the same gut wrenching pain that I did in the weeks following the loss. Take some time to heal and know that we are sending love and prayers your way as you heal and begin to reframe your life’s plan.
Robin–
Thank you for sharing this personal journey and the strength of your faith with this community. I have had four miscarriages and one live birth–it is so hard to explain to others the amount of love my heArt holds for all five of these babies. I have some peace knowing while I raise one the best I can God is holding the other four for me.
Sending prayers and supportive healing hugs your wAy.
Robin, thank you for sharing your story. I can’t empathize, but all of us here are here to support you right now and send you all the love. So, sending all of those good thoughts and love your way. <3
Robin, thank-you once again for sharing your real life with us. This is one of the main reasons that everyone loves you, the Balanced Life, and the Sisterhood. The example of your life gives others hope.
You are loved and supported here, as so many have said in their beautiful words of encouragement. We’d love to have this chance to give something back to you! Please continue to care for yourself and your family first.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and we will be lifting you and your family in prayer. It’s so wonderful that you’ve chosen to share your experience to help others. Our faith really does become stronger in these times of sorrow and weakness, as we feel the comfort that only God can give.
Praying for peace and healing for your body and soul.
Robin I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Dear Robin, I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. I admire your strength and honesty. I’ll add my prayers to those helping to carry you and your family through this sad (and busy!) time. Take care of yourself.
Robin, Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Your grace and faith are truly an inspiration.
Robin, I’m so sorry for your lost. You’re such an amazing and strong person. Sending you hugs and prayers. ♥️
Robin, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I wish you continued health and happiness.
Thank you for sharing with us! Props to you for continuing to trust God through this painful situation. You are a gift and a treasure. More beautiful things are ahead for you! Much love to you.
Robin, I am so sorry for your loss. I have experienced 2 miscarriages which both required D&C’s (8-1/2 weeks and 12 weeks). It is heartbreaking. Reading your story made me cry, but I love your transparency and how you will encourage others through this tragedy. The Lord is with you and will be your comfort, you are not alone. I still think of my two littles that are in Heaven with the Lord, and gave them both names. There are two little angels on my Christmas tree that represent them. Miscarriage loss is a huge reminder of how fragile life is, and how special our children are. My 2-1/2 year old and new little guy on the way (due in 6-1/2 weeks) will always be viewed so differently than if I had never experienced the loss as well…. I pray for healing for your heart as you grieve the loss of this child. I also gained 10 pounds with each child that I lost, which was a difficult reminder each day for me. So don’t stress about that, and take care of yourself. Blessings, Heather
Robin,
Thank you for sharing. I too miscarried two and a half weeks ago. My first and hopfully only one. I am so grateful you saw the blessings and love from our loving Heavenly Father. I saw them in our life too. I struggled with allowing myself to grieve. I guess some part of me thought it was silly to grieve over something that doesnt look like a baby and what about all those womem who miscarry later and hold that baby. I do now see that it is a great loss. We knew for 4 weeks. We imagined our life with another little one, with our first born son as a big brother. We talked about baby names and what room we needed to turn into the nursery. I too gained weight and I so appreciate how you talked about it. And I am grateful for your example. My body is amazing and I am going to take it slow, but help it be strong again. My heart sincerely reaches out to you with love and support for I know all to well and freshly how you have been feeling. You are so strong and a beautiful daughter of God. I am so happy and blessed to be your sister. Continue to look up, the light you share touches so many in need. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss Rachel. I can relate to much of what you shared. Sending love to you as you heal and recover as well! xoxo
Dear Robin,
I’m so sorry for your loss and will be praying for you and your family. I miscarried a twin once while pregnant with my daughter early on, and was on bed rest after. Thank you for telling your story. I’m sure it helped many other women. Being able to talk about it I’m sure helped you also. Take each day one day at a time <3 ! Thank you for all you do and your encouragement 🙂 God Bless, Gloria
It was helpful to read your story today, Robin. I miscarried two months ago and I struggled too with gaining probably 10 pounds and having no baby to show for it! My main fear was that we’d never be able to get pregnant again; I am learning in stages that God can give and protect a baby, and if he doesn’t, it’s for good. He sees the big picture and he has something better for our family. Learning to believe those things seems to be a process I go through again and again. Thanks to your husband, too, for letting you share with us what is also his story. Praying for you guys!
I am praying for you! I know from personal experience what you are going through.
In January I had a missed miscarriage. If you’re interested, you can read about it here. https://anotsoaveragemama.com/2017/01/26/my-thoughts-in-words-of-our-missed-miscarriage-and-saying-goodbye-to-our-precious-baby-boy/
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through because my water broke and the baby was perfectly formed and I got to see and hold his super tiny little body.
I am now pregnant again, and we are almost halfway through. I am so excited because the baby is due on Christmas! So special! We find out what it is next week.
I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers for you and family in this time of grieving, thank you for sharing you are Amazing.
Robin, I’m so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me about 12 years ago and we didn’t think we could have any children. Then, in May 2012 after 15 years of marriage, We found out We were pregnant again. we were blessed with a beautiful daughter who will turn 5 in January. She is such a miracle baby and has blessed us in so many ways! I pray for a speedy recovery for you and many blessings in the future!
Hi Robin,
Thanks for sharing this very personal story. I am so sorry to hear the news. I had a stillbirth at 30 weeks four years ago and time does help heal but does not erase the love for your child. I was blessed again afterward and now have a beautiful 3 year old daughter but Evangeline, who I lost, is always in my heart as well. Stay strong and know you are not alone.
So sorry to hear of your loss Alison. I can only imagine how hard that was. I appreciate your words and thank you for sharing. Sending love to you!
Robin, I relate so much to your experience. I went through two miscarriages in 2004 (I had two young boys at the time). So many mixed emotions…. I believe that some day I will be able to see those babies in heaven, where they are along with my mom who never got to see my five kids here in earth. I look forward to it! ❤️
God bless you. I lost my second child five and half years ago. Earlier today, I got a message from a friend that she’d just lost her second in the same way. It is a challenging road, but nothing has strengthened my faith more than having and losing that child, my Ethan. Thank you for sharing. You will be in my prayers for healing and peace.
Hi Robin, I’m so sorry — sending you light and love. I’ve lived through multiple miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy and hold my one “miracle baby” (my 14-year old daughter) in deepest gratitude every moment. Thank you for sharing your story…it’s amazing how many women (and men) suffer in silence — I encourage everyone to lean in to the village! Miscarriage is so much more prevalent than people think. And we all need to allow ourselves to grieve. Wishing you the love and support of your amazing family, both in person and online.
I am so sorry about your loss, Robin. Thank you for sharing your experience. I, too, had a miscarriage just a couple of weeks ago, and it was also painful and frightening (and sad, of course). The ten pounds thing is no joke and neither are the odd physical symptoms that continued even after the pregnancy ended. Reading all these comments from readers and Sisters, it’s a powerful reminder that none of us is alone in this (or anything!) and that sharing our experiences and “me too”s goes a long way in supporting and helping each other process and heal.
I want you to know: easing back into the Sisterhood daily workouts has helped me reconnect with my body and has reminded me that I am strong and healthy and a force to be reckoned with.
So sorry to hear that Carlee. Sending love right back to you!
Robin I am so sorry you and your family did not get a chance to meet your baby. My faith tells me that we will see all our loved ones on the other side, in spirit. They will know us and welcome us. They only go before us, and we will join them one day. You have everything you need to be whole and happy, so be both. Your sisterhood thinks the world of you, and we know you will continue to live a beautiful life in grace and strength. If you need to power down and reboot, it is totally understandable. Just know that the future is still bright and full of good surprises for you and your family. Good things are already lined up and waiting for you, so just keep moving in the direction of your dreams. I’m sending up love and prayers for you and your family.
I’m so very sorry that you had to go through this. Praise God for your faith in His plans even through the pain. He gives us so much grace and mercy especially in these times. I have had 2 miscarriage myself so I understand the pain and will be praying for you and your husband’s healing.
Oh, Robin! I’m so sorry for your loss. I had my first miscarriage 31 years ago. I had three more 19-20 years later. In 1986, no one wanted to talk about it, and when they did, I kept hearing things that were meant to be helpful but weren’t. The only thing that got me through was the knowledge that God was with us, and He loved us through it.
You and your husband are in my prayers. Sending you so much love! xoxo
Hi Robin,
Blessings to you and to your lovely family. I am sending you just love and encouragement. I understand the crying, the fatigue, all of the emotions. I am older (59) to be exact and I, to, miscarried and between my 1st and 3rd child. I went through so many emotions – sadness, blaming myself, etc. It was draining. It does pass and, yet, I know those words don’t make this time easier.
Know that you are loved and prayed for.
Blessing,
Libby S.
Dear Robin,
Still thinking of you, and how brave and tender your story is. Your beautiful faith is strong and will guide through all the ups and downs. We ARE a sisterhood, and shall hold hands throughout all our trials and struggles, as well as happy delights. You are in my prayers as you heal, and please know that I feel and can relate to your sweet heart’s testimony.
God bless you,
Jeanne
Hi Robin, as a fellow preggie yoga/pilates teacher I am so sorry to hear about your loss. God has your babe now and I love that you are blessed with such a beautiful family to shower you in cuddles. Here is to a little more ease with each passing day. Cassie xx
I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain it’s caused you. Remember what a bright light you are to so many people and take care of you! Sending big hugs!!!xoxox
Thank you for opening up on your blog about your loss. The culture of The Balanced Life is one of authenticity and encouragement. Your story here, and your beginning steps of healing and recovery, will no doubt encourage countless others. We need to speak more of miscarriage, so it doesn’t remain an issue of silent grief. Much love to you. May God’s presence be so real to you guys in the weeks to come…
After 7 years trying to conceive I finally got pregnant 4 weeks after I stumbled by sheer accident upon this natural way ( http://tinyurl.com/yan8vwtq ). It was simply amazing. I had history of recurrent miscarriages and was also diagnosed with genetic problems but using that remedy I got pregnant naturally.
Just checking out your site because I heard you on The Purposeful Home Podcast. This caught my eye because I too miscarried July 18th and our stories sound SO similar. I think it is so good when women share their miscarriage stories because it has been such a silent topic until more recently and it can be really lonely, especially if you hadn’t told many people you were even pregnant yet. I love your whole approach to this and why we should exercise too as explained in the podcast. Things change so much after having babies and having that all or nothing mentally just doesn’t work (which is what I’ve always had) and has kept me from really doing much since having my first kiddo 4.5 years ago. I miss how good it feels to exercise though and how strong I felt! I think I will be a regular visitor to your site now. Thank you. 🙂
Robin thank you so much for this post! I read it when you first put it out but I’m rereading it today as I am miscarrying for the first time. I have three beautiful healthy babies and this fourth was quite the surprise but I was ready to embrace more chaos :). It’s just like you said I have been so grateful for the three kiddos I do have! I’m just soaking up every one of their smiles and hugs and “I love you Mamas.” What a beautiful thing that we don’t have to feel alone. I have never experienced a miscarriage before- only those three pregnancies with no complications. So it is a huge encouragement to come here and read everyone’s comments and reread your post. I am not alone. I am stronger than I think and I will make it out on the other side. Thank you to all The Sisterhood! ?. God bless each of you!