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It’s almost baby time!
Hi Beauties,
Well, it’s about that time!
My due date is right around the corner so I’m prepping to take a little bit of time off to figure how in the world to manage two kids. 🙂
Though I’ll be cutting back on my work schedule for a few months the blog will stay alive! I have posts lined up and ready to go every Monday & Wednesday and also a great line-up of guest-bloggers to bring in some fresh info and inspiration.
You can still find me on Instagram (@thebalancedlife) and I’ll pop in to let you know how things are going. I even plan to share updates on the postpartum body – REAL updates – like the juicy, not-so-pretty stuff that nobody really talks about. Fun, fun!
But before I leave you…do you have any tips for bringing home baby #2 or managing a newborn and a toddler? If so, I’m all ears!
xo,
PS – you may also enjoy thoughts on the first trimester & thoughts on the second trimester.
Robin Long
Robin Long, founder and CEO of Lindywell, certified Pilates instructor, Nutrition Therapy Practitioner, and author of 'Well to the Core,' blends 15 years of expertise with a lifelong commitment to holistic health.
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30 thoughts on “It’s almost baby time!”
Try to include the older one. When I would nurse we would read stories. My kids are all 2 years apart. Good luck!! You can do it!! I would also let them help bring a diaper, wipes, or what ever else. I still remember the first morning at home with child 1 and 2 and we could not find child 1. He had climbed into her crib and was watching her sleep. It was so sweet.
Happy times! Remember to rest when they rest! Don’t over think anything! Relax, enjoy and when you need assistance,ASK FOR IT! It’s a wonderful time in your life and you only have each moment to enjoy, as the time will fly by in an instant. On the days that are a bit longer, treat yourself to a hot bath and a cup of tea. My three children were all two years apart, it was one of the best times of my 67 years in life. Wishing you the very best and a smooth delivery.
Let go of expectations. I had way too many expectations that Baby 2 would fall into the same routine Baby 1 did on the same timeline (and my first was a super easy baby). Well, their personalities are as different as night and day and that was evident from the beginning. I waisted a lot of emotional energy hanging on to expectations that were not at all practical for Baby 2. When I let it go and just really focused on learning who he is separate and apart from his older brother I was better able to handle the very different newborn experience. So, let go of any expectations you might be holding and just be ready to slowly adjust and enjoy being a mommy of 2. My boys are 3 years apart (currently 4 and 15 months), and it’s getting more and more fun every day as they learn to play together. It was precious watching my oldest love on his baby brother during those very early days. He was fiercely protective and very curious about each and everything concerning “my brudder” (as his 3 year old self referred to him). Congratulations!
Plan 1:1 time with your oldest. Keep your plans loose, and really examine your to-do list. Flexibity is a must. Enjoy each minute with the kids, because they grow up so fast! Best of luck to you, AND do what works for you and your family. Keep smiling!
I agree with the other comments! I was also going to suggest using your nursing time with your baby as your reading time with your oldest, too. Meal times were a great way to re-connect with my oldest (who was 2) when I had a baby. I would force myself to put down magazines (or in these days, iPhones!) and look into my toddler’s face… even though the conversation was often one-sided. Finally, embrace humility. Approach parenting two kids as a classroom… or even a mirror. We learn so much about ourselves through the parenting experience. Whether it’s wanting to impress others, or wanting others to admire us, or wanting to have it all together — parenting sort of bumps up against those desires constantly. I’m so grateful… my kids have taught me so much and they don’t even know it yet! They’re now 13 and 11. 🙂
Congrats!! It’s almost time! A few things.
First and foremost, give yourself a ton of slack. Take the first 3 weeks to rest and nurse as much as possible. Your body needs to heal. You’ll be set up for success if you allow yourself these three weeks post partum. Let your husband or others do the house work and focus on loving the two babies and resting. So important. Don’t try and be a hero and go play outside, go for walks (yet), etc. just allow for healing.
With that said…..Second, I found it critical to “prep” for the day during the babies naps (3 weeks pod partum onward). Prep dinner, load up some laundry, feed the pets. Try and cram as much into the nap time as you can. With 2, I found it was the only option.
Grace over guilt remember? Same applies here. You’ll do great.
I’m a mom of 4, and my best advice is just to enjoy it! No one told me how amazing it would be to watch my child love their sibling so much. One of the greatest joys as a mom.
Having two is twice the work, but more than twice the love. I absolutely agree with everyone else…..relax ( ha) and try to enjoy whatever happens….my first two girls were close in age and born at the same time of year. I thought I had it all figured out!! From the moment my second was born, it was a different experience…and that’s the beauty of it. Also remember that an infant needs to be held, but anyone can do that….and you can focus/ interact on the older one while holding the baby….
Best wishes for labor and beyond….
Like another mom mentioned above, each kid can be completely different. So things that worked for #1 may not work for #2. Try to set aside individual time for #1, the transition can be tough to understand. Also, a piece of advice that someone gave me about introducing the baby. When my son was brought into the room (he’s 2) to meet his baby sister she was in the bassinet, I wasn’t holding her. This way there wasn’t a initial “jealousy”. I cuddled with him for a moment and gave him a bear from his new sister. Then we let him go peak and her and we took her out so he could see her. Eventually my husband had them both in his lap. She’s 5mo now and he is very attached to her, we try to keep him as involved as possible.
I agree with Jodi 100% -let the older one help as much as possible with and without the baby. Let her partake in dinner or changing laundry or getting the new roll of toliet paper when empty. Simple tasks devoted to her will go a LONG way.
I also recommend giving her 100% of your attention when baby is sleeping a few short periods throughout the day -let her choose the item to play together.
Any moment when both are snoozing at the same time sit on couch forget about the disaster in the house, what to cook, what not to cook, what to clean, what to email or social media account to check….just close your eyes b/c they will be up b4 you fall asleep.
Adjust accordingly and routines are important but shift significantly the first few months. Enjoy your kids -they are little ONCE & you only have a chance at this parenthood thing once.
Cheers!
There’s no real advice that can prepare you for the second baby. In some ways it’s easier – after all, you’re quite practiced in changing diapers and getting up at night 😉 – but in other ways it’s so hard. I have three kids, all two years apart. Coming home with baby #2 was exciting, tiring, and stressful all at the same time. My son stopped napping as soon as we brought our daughter home so there wasn’t much of a break, and truthfully, some days were just terrible. He learned quickly to like Sesame Street while I was feeding the baby. The biggest thing you can do for yourself is have lots of meals prepared ahead of time, and not expecting too much of yourself the first few months. The house will need cleaning, you may not shower regularly, but it’s only a short time and everything will start to get easier and fall into place. Eventually your kids will be best friends, and it will all seem like a dream. Enjoy, and good luck!
Roll with it! I’m expecting my 8th any day now, and if I’ve learned anything throughout these years, it’s that they’re only little once. The work, while overwhelming at times, can wait. Try to get some meals in the freezer. If you can’t, takeout a few times won’t kill you. This is the only time we keep cold cereal in the house.. lol I justify it with raw milk 😉 Love the big sibling. DON’T look at what other moms are doing… Comparison is the thief of joy. Love what you’ve got in your own home, and see the joy every day. Good luck!
Very important give attention to your girl, ask her for help make her important with the care of her brother, spend quality time with her make cookies etc she will very happy knowing that you ask for help special if you go to kitchen or some were in the house and she is assigned if baby cry to let you know, you look wonderful stay that way that dresses look beautiful on you take care every pregnancy is different is the same with baby 1 and 2 relax and enjoy.
Agree with the others. Individual time is very important so she doesn’t feel left out. Arrange for friends, family, and providers to periodically take her out on a special adventure, which gives you time to focus only on baby but still makes her feel special. Newborns are like footballs- you can carry them anywhere, so don’t be afraid to go out with both of them. I also wore my son in a Bjorn as often as possible so I could have my hands free to wrangle the toddler. The one time I didn’t have him in a sling, she took off across a park and I had to chase her while holding him in one arm (see football reference- hah!)
It may be overwhelming at first, but you’ll all soon settle down into a good routine. You’ll do great, not to worry!
Just like the unknown from zero to one kid, you’ll just do it. You’ve got this, girl! Babywise is my best advice, but I think you’re already into that 🙂
Congratulations! Having a second is exciting and a bit scary all at once. When we had our second we made a point of always acknowledging the older child first when we came into a room or home from an outing. Instinct is to gush over the new baby or go check on the baby first. We reminded grandparents and visitors of the same. The baby doesn’t know the difference but the older child does, it really helped smooth the transition. Good luck with everything!
The transition from one to two can be tough. I have only two, so I don’t know what it’s like transitioning to three or more. My adjustment was probably the sweetest but most difficult time of my life. As I look back on it, I wish I hadn’t expected so much of my oldest. He had just turned 2, and suddenly I needed him to be a bigger boy than he was. I regret to admit I missed out on a lot of his being a 2-year-old because of it. I do think individual time with your oldest will be important. I just did things I used to do before baby brother arrived….trips to the store just with my oldest, times at the park, a “date” to get a special treat, etc. I will never forget that first trip to the grocery store with BOTH boys. I hardly had room for anything in the cart and I think it took me two hours to get out of there. I wondered how in the world I would do this on a regular basis. But suddenly caring for two was my new “normal,” and having only one with me (wherever we went) almost felt like I had none….you’ll get it when you reach that point. You’ll be amazed at how different each child is, how much bigger your heart gets to love them both individually, how God has gifted you as a mom to be sensitive to what both kids need. It’s s special time, a treasured time. Just don’t forget to take time for yourself, make sleep your number one priority (seriously) and don’t over-commit to anything. Best wishes and congratulations!
You are more experienced now, so some of the energy you spent on “figuring out” babies can be channeled toward juggling two. It’s tiring, but so rewarding! I agree with Tamie. When baby is napping, give time to your daughter. Time could include cleaning, cooking, and Pilates together! Rest when they both rest. One thing that saved me was enforcing an early bedtime. I tended to cut out afternoon naps for my toddlers as soon as they could handle it (even when it meant fussy right around dinner time) so they would fall asleep by 7 or 7:30. That left a little bit of mommy and daddy time in the evening – quiet time to unwind and be exhausted! Unlike some of the responders, I found that having more than one was actually easier. I hope your labor and delivery go well! I’m excited for you.
So much great advice here! I would second the suggestion to let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and what you can get done. Also, accept help! Utilize the people in your life who love you and want to help out. Take care of yourself! When I was nursing my second, I had “busy bins” for my 2 year old to play with. I stocked them with stickers, books, cheap toys from the dollar store, etc. He was only allowed to play with them during nursing time or when I was putting the baby down for a nap. That made them fun and something he looked forward to. He was also such a great little helper and I would give him jobs to do. When things got overwhelming, I’d head outside or go for a walk. A change of scenery always seems to help. My 2nd pretty much lived in the Ergo for the first couple months, which he loved and helped me be able to be more mobile for my toddler! It’s so special to see the sibling bond form and amazing how loving and sweet older brothers/sisters can be. I’m expecting my 3rd in Feb so I am going to have to come back to all of this advice again 🙂
My biggest piece of advice is to do what works for you guys and don’t hold onto any guilt if possible. I always compared my mothering experience to others and it didn’t lead me to a good place. An example of doing what works for you: breastfeeding (or lack of). I wasn’t able to breastfeed my son, he had an undiagnosed tongue tie which led to mastitis on both sides, and the loss of my supply. I took the herbs and pumped but finally gave up as it was taking over my life and leading to a dark, depressed place. When I had my daughter, two yrs later, I was sure that this time I would be able to breastfeed, no lip or tongue tie. This should be easy right? It’s the natural way! Well, it went ok but at about 4 wks she was increasingly fussy and refusing my milk. We started supementing with pumped breast milk and formula. She was eating and so much happier. Breastfeeding was also hard on my son. He was really attached to me and needed my help with everything. Pumping took time away from both kids, and I wasn’t sleeping…at all. My doc finally said I had to do something different and I needed at least 4 hours of sleep a night (it sounded marvelous!). So I had to make a change that would be best for me and my whole family. Long story short, I gave up breastfeeding. Some might judge me, but it was the right thing for us. My son is almost 3 and my daughter is 10 months. Both were formula fed for different reasons, but both are happy and healthy. Try not to worry so much about what you and other people think you should do, and figure out what works for you. Good luck! I know you’ll do great, please keep is informed when you have time ?
One of the greatest pieces of advice on having 2 kids, was from my doctor. Every once in a while I would say to the baby, “You’ll have to wait for a minute, it’s your big sister’s turn right now.” Of course the baby didn’t understand or mind (I picked appropriate times, not before a feeding or a nap 🙂 ), but it was HUGELY helpful to my oldest to not always be the one who had to wait. I always tell my two that they are each other’s support throughout life, that they are a team. So it was helpful to have that advice right at the start.
Enjoy, your sweet little ones are a blessing! (and grab a nap whenever you can! 🙂 )
I quickly read a couple comments and could not agree more with letting go of expectations. Looking back, that was probably the biggest hang up for us & honestly I probably caused more tension in our family because of “needing to control”. :/ On a more physical/practical note, I’d have Belle help me get diapers & changing accessories, sometimes she got to feed him some of his bottle, and we talked a lot about the Big Girl things she was able to do (I’m A Big Sister book was soooo helpful and super cute.) When I nursed, I had a special toy basked that she pulled out ONLY when I was feeding baby. It had special books/toys/dvd in it. Yes. DVD. I’m recalling it was My Baby Can Read or something like that. Only when I desperately needed to use it. Another thing, I prayed and prayed for their friendship from the beginning, and for a deep love/bond to develop instantly. There were times I wondered if God heard me because Belle pulled Benji off the couch by the feet when he was a couple weeks old! It’s a special time but also challenging time. Take Blake out for one on one dates to the park or “whole foods & coffee”. 🙂 Have grace with yourself and others – and ask for help. 🙂 Love you bunches!!! You will do great!!! You’re a wonderful mama!!
My biggest piece of advice is: early bedtimes. We worked hard in the beginning to get both of our kids down by 7pm and, although in the first few months (or year) you may have some interruptions in your evening for nursing, my husband and I really benefited from the alone time together. It really is important to make time for being you. Being a parent is an amazing gift, but that’s only a part of who you are.
Get used to the fact that you took a thousand photos of child # 1, but you will only take 17 of # 2. It is normal, although with cell phones (not around when my kids were born), you may take few more of # 2. You will be more relaxed about things like your child eating dirt, pulling a dog’s tail, or acting out in public. Hopefully, your ;patience level will go up, too. Most important – Child # 1 may have been perfect, or a holy terror; whatever he or she is/was, Child # 2 may be exactly the same or exactly the opposite, or some combination thereof. No two are alike; deal with # 2 on his/her own terms. Good luck!
I have 3 kids…age 8, 5, and 3. I don’t know if you can really prepare. My best advice is just to just go with the flow each day. Let your spouse help with feedings if at all possible to give you a break from nursing (if you decide to nurse) and spend time with your oldest child then. I’m not quite sure how old your daughter is but I think kids adjust better than we do. There may be some rough days but I never had many of those back to back. Just being honest. If you need to cry because you feel like you aren’t doing everything you had planned to do..just cry and you’ll feel better. 🙂 It will pass I promise. Excited for you and your family. Oh and I know this sounds so basic but take a nap when you are just drained during the day. Especially if you will be home with both of them 24 hours a day. It helps a lot.
Eliminate expectations. Even if you don the same thing with the second they won’t necessarily respond the same (I.e. Same sleep routines, second one didn’t sleep regardless). Uninterrupted time with the older child without the new baby. Remember the baby just needs to eat and sleep and poop. When you can give your attention to your oldest. Biggest thing, give yourself grace.
Try not to feel guilty that you are not giving baby #2 as much undivided attention as your first. Remember, they have the benefit of having an older sibling to watch, learn from and love. My daughter’s first bit belly laugh was at her big brother doing something silly. They are 7 and 9 and will still occasionally hold hand while taking a walk, etc. Also, make sure to do date nights with your husband. If you have a good sitter, use them and use them often!
The only thing I can add here is that we bought B a little gift from his younger brother (a stuffed animal and a puzzle) and when he first came to the hospital to meet C, it was wrapped and ready for B. We made a big deal out of it saying that C was so happy to finally be here and that he brought his big brother a present. Also be sure to practice taking care of a baby with Miss B, have her get a baby doll and change its diapers and feed it etc. 2 is pretty young to “help” but maybe she can do it. Since I had boys I just remember B was pretty rough with C, you can never leave them alone together. 2 year olds can’t really comprehend how fragile babies are. The ergo will save your life. It is tough at first. There are a lot of sacrifices you will make and mistakes you will look back on and (hopefully) smile about. But it gets easier with time. Savor those sweet, precious moments. They will carry you through! XO
Positive point of having two (besides increasing the love you give out): both kids learn social skills faster (and perhaps easier?) than if they are the only child at home…
First, accept any help that is offered. A meal, an hour of babysitting, or even the offer to pick up grocery staples….take it!! Let your body recover as it needs to and do its hardest work where it should be…focused on those amazing children you are raising….not wasting energy on chores and medial tasks that others may offer to help you with. Try to cherish those little moments with Baby #2 as you did with #1. Accept help so you can have time one on one with the baby or with your first born. Both need some “Only-Mommy” time!! That bonding time is short, precious, and worth every sacrifice! I found making child #1 feel important in the rearing of baby #2 helped us bond all together nicely. Raising a boy and a girl has been VERY different for me but when you are strong in your family values and teach them early on things such as respect, kindness, healthy living, and love…it all works out. I wish you all the best! The happy, positive energy that you put forth thru the Sisterhood keeps me going so In return I hope you find balance and happiness in this next exciting chapter! Support is here if needed! All the best to you on this amazing new chapter of your life.